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My Daughter Wore Boxing Gloves To Bed

She put them on just before bed... Then wouldn't take them off.

Tung Chung The Islander Children's bedtime.
The very gloves. They're not mine.

When you first tell people you're going to have children, they usually congratulate you, mention lack of sleep and nappy changes, then move on. Lack of sleep and nappies is the least of your worries.


Bedtime

It gets to that point in the evening when it's 'past their bedtime' and you start to give in to their mad little demands. On this auspicious night we'd already been though the "I'm itchy", the "I'm thirsty", "One more story" phase of bedtime.


We were now transitioning into the weepy, crazy and unhinged phase of bedtime.


I'd finally got them down and it had only taken me about 40 minutes. Frankly I was impressed. They were both safely tucked up and dipping into that odd spasming stage of sleep when my youngest, 5 year old Juno, jumped up out of bed in the dark, ran into her room (yup - still sleeping in the parents' bedroom - don't judge me) and grabbed a pair of boxing gloves - as you do. The train-of-thought she must have been through to go from lying in the dark to needing boxing gloves worries me a little. What on earth was she thinking about?


She popped them on then came back into the bedroom. I asked her kindly to remove them and tuck back into bed. She didn't take this request well.


So, being the caring parent that I am, and very tired, I said she could keep them on, so long as she went to bed in the next 3 seconds.


I don't know if you've ever worn boxing gloves, but they get a little sweaty; it's like wearing tightly wound clingfilm on your hands. Juno was clearly suffering form this but didn't want to lose face. She is half Chinese after all.


So we're there on a bed, in the dark, and all I can hear is the very slow ripping of velcro as she tries to take them off without anyone knowing. By this point I'm laughing uncontrollably but I can't let on I find the whole charade as funny as hell as I'm supposed to be angry, so instead my shoulders are bouncing up and down and I'm twitching as if I've been tasered.


Eventually I say "Juno, please just take them off quickly, you're driving me mad and your sister can't sleep" to which she replies in a quiet, embarrassed voice


"I can't. I can't grip the openers".


Long story short, I completely lost it laughing and it's another 20 minutes before they're both asleep.


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